LIVE AUDIO ENGINEER’S “LIST”
PET PEEVES:
Lighting engineers
5-minute changeovers
105-volts
Load-in via elevator/stairs
Volunteer/unpaid stage hands
Mix positions WAY off-axis
Band-owned gear
3x3-foot "stages"
DUMB COMMENTS FROM AUDIENCE:
“What if I did this?” (Miming twisting knobs/pushing faders)
“This would sound great in my living room.”
‘Do you know what all those knobs do?”
“Are you the DJ?” (This one's a DOUBLE-whammy)
“Where is the ‘talent’ knob?”
“Can I keep my coat back there?”
“I can’t hear the vocals!”(Generally from the lead’s girl/boyfriend during the first 5-measures of the first song)
“Do you get to meet the band?”
“It’s too loud!” (While sitting in front of the stacks)
FAMOUS LAST WORDS:
“Oh, sorry. That’s the wrong stage plot/input list”
“Sure! There’ll be plenty of stage hands.”
“Absolutely! You’ll get a T-shirt at the end of the gig.”
“Give me your address and I’ll send you a T-shirt.”
“Oops, the merch guy just put the T-shirts on the bus”
“I’ll fix it before the next gig.”